Posts tagged "shit my husband says"

from the other room, i just heard my husband growl

“oh my god i need the princess wand”

Me: Hon, I want you to take a look at this GIF of Dean, and tell me what you think he’s doing.

Husband: Because that’s not an alarming way to start a sentence.

Me: Ha ha. Just look at it, smart-ass.

Husband: Well, clearly, he’s hiding an erection.

Me: Are you sure?

Husband: What do you mean, am I sure? That’s like a neon sign flashing “BONER ALERT”. 

Me: Well, I mean, could it be interpreted as anything else?

Husband: Only if someone had just threatened to kick him in the nuts.

  • Me: Wait, why is there a bird on the captain's shoulder? That wasn't there before.
  • Me: Is he a pirate now?
  • Husband: [gives me withering look]
  • Husband: Because I dualized his weapon, so that it's a cockatoo on one end and a fork on the other.
  • Husband: Obviously.
  • Me: But what possible combat advantage could a bird-fork provide you? .
  • Husband: It does additional damage against flying enemies. And dinner.
  • Me: Oh.
  • Me: Obviously.
Asker Anonymous Asks:
Flutie, as totally awesome as your blog already is, you so need to make it a regular thing to post your husbands comments on each episode, because I'm still laughing from his comments on The End. Still. And it's been days since I read the comment. ^^,
flutiebear flutiebear Said:

Why thank you, greyface. I think he’s funny too, but not nearly as funny as he thinks he is. :)

If you’re interested, I’ve posted other conversations of ours under the tag “shit my husband says”.

All the feels?”

“Except this one,” he adds, pinching my butt. “This one’s mine.”

  • Husband: So, like, is this gonna become the Dean and Cas show now?
  • Husband: 'Cause I'd be kind of okay with that.
  • Husband: They're like "Lethal Weapon", except with better hair.
  • Me: *giggling* So are Dean and Cas your BROTP?
  • Husband: Well. Take the "bro" out of it, and then let's talk.
  • Me: *goggle*
  • Husband: What?
  • Me: Nothing. You're just really going to love the next couple seasons, that's all.
  • Me: ...And what about Sam?
  • Husband: Sam can be forever alone.
  • Husband: No. Wait.
  • Husband: I ship Sam and his sideburns too much for that.
  • Husband: What's going on?
  • Me: I'm not sure... I just want to fight demons.
  • Me: But I had to take Sammy to a class assembly. And then my teacher demanded homemade cake. And now I'm watching the swim team practice, I guess.
  • Husband: It's all men.
  • Me: Well, yeah.
  • Husband: You totally should've named him Dean.
  • Me: So what do you think of Castiel so far?
  • Husband: Hmm. Well.
  • Husband: That guy has significant personal space issues.
  • Me: Oh, sweetie. You have no idea.
  • Husband: Makes sense, though. I guess there's no such thing as the "personal space cone" in Heaven.
  • Me: Not really. Celestial beings and all.
  • Husband: Oh man. I bet their cocktail parties are just the worst.
  • Husband: All the same awkward staring and mouth-breathing, just now fourteen nanometers apart.
  • Me: Think that's bad?
  • Me: Just imagine waiting in front of him in line. At, like, Blockbuster.
  • Husband: *shudder*
  • Husband: *adopts Cas voice* I SEE THAT YOU ARE CHECKING OUT PORN.
  • Husband: HOWEVER I MUCH PREFERRED BACKDOOR BEAUTIES VOLUME 43.
  • Me: OOOH. Foreshadowing!
  • Husband: What?
  • Me: Um. Nothing.
  • Husband: So you know how Jedward is, like, the twincest thing?
  • Me: Um.
  • Me: Where is this going exactly?
  • Husband: What would you call an AU Chloe/Morrigan slashfic?
  • Me: Your next project, apparently.
  • Me: ...Because apparently I'm big into poetry now. I know, right? Who knew?
  • Husband: Huh. What kind of poetry?
  • Me: Modern stuff. None of that rhyming crap. Emily Dickenson can suck my ass.
  • Husband: ...
  • Husband: ...
  • Husband: I bet someone wrote a fanfic about that.

rhiannon42:

flutiebear:

rhiannon42:

I was re-watching some cutscenes from Uncharted 3 (for fic research, obviously), and I noticed that Young!Nate has a man’s watch hooked on his belt. It looks pretty high-quality, which makes me wonder why he hasn’t sold it for some probably much-needed coin. Why is it so important that he’ll keep it but not wear it? Did he steal it and decide he liked it? Did it belong to a family member? Why doesn’t he have it as an adult (I checked through many screenshots to verify that the wristband/watch thing he has is different)? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

And so now I will be mildly obsessed with this tiny detail. Because I am a huge nerd.

My first thought: It was his father’s.

My second thought: It wasn’t his father’s.

My third thought: Not only was the watch not his father’s, it didn’t even look like something his father once owned, or might’ve owned, or would’ve wanted to own. But Nate stole it anyway, because it looked like something he wished his father would’ve owned. It was the kind of object his ideal father would’ve kept on his wrist: someone rich, or smart, or sophisticated; someone who could give him the world; someone who always had the time (for him).

My fourth thought: Young!Nate’s watch is his first attempt to build a fantasy identity for himself, to use talismans to recreate himself in the image of who he wanted to be, rather than what he was handed. It’s, of course, the same thing he does with Francis Drake’s ring later on; he builds up this elaborate lie about his secret ancestry that was so much better than the rotten, broken bloodline he was originally given, a lie so elaborate he eventually begins to believe it. In the case of the watch, young!Nate wanted the worldly, sophisticated father he didn’t get lucky enough to have, so instead he invented him.

My fifth thought: It’s the same watch that shows up on Victor Sullivan’s wrist.

My sixth thought: ITS THE SAME WATCH THAT SHOWS UP ON VICTOR SULLIVAN’S WRIST.

YES IT FUCKING IS

Which is why I wrote a scene on this very subject— I’m trying to post it to AO3, we’ll see how that goes. My thought process on the subject was similar to yours, that it was his father’s, but of course it couldn’t be. I also gave some though to the idea that maybe he stole it because it did look like a watch his father owned, and I haven’t entirely ruled out that piece of headcanon. Nor have I ruled out your version of it, that it’s another piece of the story Nate tells himself about who he is and where he’s from.

And then he totally gives it to Sully and Sully’s still wearing it and dshfkshjsdf FEELS

(I think I may have to replay the whole trilogy once I finish with New Vegas. Just saying.)

All your posts on it over the past few weeks have put me in a serious Drake frame of mind. I couldn’t wait any longer. Now that I’m back in town, the hubs and I are replaying it tag-team style, right now, as I type.

In fact, this just in from his corner of the couch: “Fucking pirates. Always all up in my sunken cities. You’d think they’d learn by now.”

sinisterlava:sweetscottishcherub:

i just

really like it when men push their sleeves up

or roll the sleeves of their button-ups to their elbows

i mean i really like it

really

#an accurate post

This actually happened yesterday:

Husband: Hey hon, I just wanted to check in about…
Husband: Hon?
Husband: *waves hand in front of my face*
Me: Huh? What?
Husband: What’s up with you?
Me: *blush*
Me: Nothing.
Husband: No, what is it?
Me: Um.
Me: Your forearms.
Husband: *laughs*
Husband: … Wait, you’re serious.
Me: They’re large.
Me: And hairy.
Me: *licks lips*
Husband: Be that as it may—
Me: No, really.
Me: If we’re gonna talk seriously about anything, I’m gonna need you to hold your arms behind your back.
Husband: You know, darling…
Husband: This is the same rationale behind the Taliban’s implementation of the burqas in Afghanistan.
Me: Shut up.
Husband: I’m just sayin’.
Me: Then stop having such hot forearms.
Me: Wait.
Me: No, I don’t mean that.
Husband: Don’t you objectify me.
Husband: I am a person.
Me: Says the pair of walking forearms.

(via previouslydenimwrappednightmares)

  • Husband: So I just finished a special playlist for our car trip tomorrow.
  • Husband: I'm very proud of this. I worked very hard on it.
  • Me: Cool. Can I listen?
  • Husband: Sure.
  • Me: *puts earphones on*
  • Music: "I never meant to be so bad to youuu..."
  • Music: "One thing I said I would never do..."
  • Me: Ooh!
  • Me: *sings along* Because it's the heeeeeat of the Moment!
  • Me: Nice! Next?
  • Husband: *grins*
  • Husband: *clicks*
  • Music: "I never meant to be so bad to youuu..."
  • Me: Wait a minute...
  • Husband: *grins*
  • Husband: *clicks*
  • Music: "I never meant to be so bad to youuu..."
  • Me: You.
  • Me: You made an entire playlist.
  • Me: Of Asia's "Heat of the Moment"
  • Husband: *grins*
  • Husband: *clicks*
  • Music: "I never meant to be so bad to youuu..."
  • Me: You goddamned troll.
  • Me: You are the trolliest troll who ever trolled.
  • Music: "It was the heeeeeat of the moment..."
  • Husband: Time to rise and shine, Flutie.
  • Husband: Huh. That's... kind of a hot car.
  • What I'm thinking: ASDFGHJKL
  • What I'm thinking: OMG OMG OMG OMG
  • What I'm thinking: PLAY IT COOL FLUTIE PLAY IT COOL
  • Me, what I *actually* say: Oh. Is it?
  • Me: I hadn't noticed.
  • Husband: Yeah. A '67 Impala? Man, I hadn't ever pegged myself as the muscle car type, but, damn, I really like that car.
  • What I'm thinking: ASDFGHJKLQWERTYUIOP
  • What I'm thinking: OMG HE LIKES THE CAR
  • What I'm thinking: MAYBE HE SHOULD BUY THE CAR
  • What I'm thinking: AND WE CAN DRIVE AROUND IN IT BLASTING SKYNYRD
  • What I'm thinking: AND HAVE LOTS OF HOT SEX IN THE BACKSEAT
  • What I'm thinking: AND I CAN SHOW HIM WHERE THE GREEN ARMY MEN ARE AND THE LEGO IN THE HEATER AND THE INITIALS CARVED INTO THE WOOD
  • Husband: ... Excuse me?
  • Me: Uh oh.
  • Me: I just said that last part out loud, didn't I?
  • Husband: Honey, you just said a LOT of things out loud.
  • Me: Oops.
  • Husband: Yeah. Seriously.
  • Husband: Spoilers. Sheesh.
  • Husband: Did you see that they posted the bios and ages of the main characters in "Korra" on Nick.com?
  • Me: Oh? That's cool.
  • Husband: Yep. Korra's 17, and Mako's 18.
  • Me: So how old is Bolin?
  • Husband: Sixteen.
  • Me: Wow.
  • Me: I am very creepy, apparently.
  • Husband: *side eye*
  • Husband: ...
  • Husband: ...
  • Husband: YES.
  • Husband: YES, YOU ARE.