Ohhhh yes. I think he even says as much in “The Phantom Traveller”. Dean is terrified of losing control.
Which, if you think about it, makes what happens to him in Hell all the worse. Because for thirty years, he had no control over Alastair carving into him; he resisted taking the knife himself, because that resistance was the last and only thing he could control. But eventually, the pain, the heartache, the everything became too much for him, and he gave in. He submitted, he relinquished his final control, and in so doing, became a monster.
Worst of all, it was his choice to let go, to give up control, that was what turned him into a demon. He chose to step down off that rack. And that choice haunts him even still.
Framed in this context, is it any wonder why post-Hell Dean so jealously guards his self-control? After Hell, Dean only lets down his guard around Bobby and Sam — who knew him prior to Hell — and Cas, who’s the only person who ever saw him at his lowest, carving into others.
That’s why Cas’s betrayal hurt Dean so badly. The one person who has ever seen Dean without any control, and the one person Dean trusts enough to not hurt him when he DOES give up control, is the one person who betrays that trust. Dean has good reason to be angry with Cas now. Very good reason.
Benny watches as Dean pulls the knife out of the werewolf’s slumped, broken body; Dean sticks it back into its makeshift holster without bothering to clean it more than a quick flick to get most of the gunk off. He’d bet money that Dean used to meticulously keep it clean whenever he’d first landed his ass here.
“How long you been lookin’ for this fella?” he asks, because he’s been with Dean for maybe three weeks, and Dean sure as hell knows what he’s doing.
oH MY GOD
OH BASICALLY THIS
Actually Anon I have to level with you: I do like it, or can at the very least tolerate it, under some very specific circumstances that are not all that often met. I’m picky, you see, and I’ll discuss those circumstances towards the end of this. As to why I DON’T like it (when I don’t like it), it basically breaks down into three categories in which it strikes me as wrong: canon evidence, fandom attitude, and personal experience.
First and foremost let’s clear some things up. I’m not going to make assumptions about how much you do or don’t know about BDSM but the average person really does not know jack shit about it, so first I’m gonna go over what exactly a sub is.
The obvious shit: it’s short for submissive, both referring to one who submits (noun, a sub) and the act of submitting (intransitive verb, to sub), and is half of the D/s (Dominance & submission) element of the overall BDSM family of kinks. It is an extreme form of power exchange – this is more than just one partner saying “We should do it like this” and the other going “Okay”. The extremity ranges from taking verbal commands and accepting punishment to complete objectification (see: Gor, or better yet don’t).
To sub or be a sub entails:
- Leaving sole decision-making privileges to another (the Dom/me).
- Attempting to anticipate your Dom/me’s desires and acting on them if permitted.
- Following your Dom/me’s orders.
- Accepting punishment when your Dom/me deems it necessary.
- Trusting your Dom/me to see to your needs & comfort with orders that will satisfy you both, by making certain s/he doesn’t cross your boundaries, and with aftercare.
THINGS THAT ARE NOT THE SAME AS SUBBING/BEING A SUB AND DO NOT IN & OF THEMSELVES INDICATE SUBMISSIVENESS:
- Being penetrated during sex.
- Giving oral sex.
- Being on one’s back during sex.
- Being passive during sex.
- Being the little spoon.
- Not being a Dom/me (EGALITARIAN SEX EXISTS HOLY SHIT YOU DON’T SAY).
- Finding dominant or forceful personalities attractive.
- Being attentive to your partner’s needs, desires, and comfort.
- Being gentle during sex.
- Enjoying rough sex.
- Enjoying gentle sex (which isn’t exactly the same as being gentle).
- Being vocal during sex.
- Being quiet during sex.
- Enjoying degradation during sex.
- Enjoying spanking, bondage, or pain.
- Not being the one to initiate sex.
- Not being enthusiastic during sex.
- Trying to make sure your partner climaxes first.
- Being attractive.
- Acting, dressing, or appearing feminine.
- Mocking others while being physically assaulted.
- Holding still in a dangerous situation.
- ANY act of non-consensual violence or violation enacted on one’s person FULL STOP
It’s terribly simple and yet people keep fucking it up with their stupid-ass, wrong-headed assumptions. This will come up later. There might be a quiz. Strap in.
I’m writing this from the bottom of a beer. Just FYI. General content warnings: discussion of sexual assault, a lot of cussing, use of the general “you”, and Tom being aggressively, unapologetically contentious in general. You asked my opinion so I’m-a give it honestly, but not necessarily nicely. Because being a sub ain’t the same as being gentle.
Every now and then, I get asked whether I think Dean is a sub or dom (or, once, a top or sub. Eek,). The question never fails to make me supremely uncomfortable, and defilerwyrm does an excellent job of explaining why.
His love was a stone. And,
heavy, it wore a hole into
the very heart of you. “Hey,
killer.” A heavy, loving hand
in your hair, fingers tangling
among the strands. If you keep it
short, it’s harder to get a grip on
you, and you think about monsters
when you run the clippers and
you think about love.
The last time you
saw him he bent over you,
stinking of sulphur
and you never questioned
why, only leaned into that
oh god, the things we do
I disagree. Emily IS a victim that episode, quite literally a sacrificial victim to the Vanir. That Dean is just a much a victim as she is, and that she survives her ordeal and prevents others from experiencing it, doesn’t make her victimization any less.
Season 7 makes a lot of subtle social commentary. On gay rights and the effect religion has on it, S7 says how they feel about it right off the bat. One of the first things Cas does as God is kill the homophobic, hate-driven preacher. The man that Cas is in love with is so horribly repressed during S7, which alludes to the repression talk like this causes. I mean, if you were told your whole life that being gay is sick and wrong and you’re going to hell if you dare love whom you want to love, you would do anything not to appear gay. Does that sound like someone we know? Cas is far more perceptive than he’s given credit for, and I think he understands Dean more than he lets on. If Dean’s repression pisses us off, imagine how Cas must have felt.
And in a season where Dean has to come to terms with his repression and the effect it’s had on him, Cas gave him a clue how to deal with it. Kill it dead or its poison will choke you.
Great point. And look at who else Cas goes after:
All those are groups looking to silence and repress others, or as Cas puts it, “to cause poverty and despair in my name”. The pedophile wants to silence his victim. The white supremacist wants to silence black people. New Age motivational speakers want to silence anyone who expresses or owns their negative emotions. The politician wants to silence who she deems “godless”. All of these groups, even the KKK, do so while professing to love their fellow man, and condemn those who don’t. But Cas ain’t havin’ none of their shit:
People say I’m wrathful, but I only punish liars and those who forsake me. I am a just God.
Dean’s life was shaped by a man, and later a culture, that demanded he silence and repress who he truly is inside. Cas, however, found that soul beautiful. He found it worth saving from the depths of Hell. And in saving Dean, so too was Cas saved from the perdition of his own doubt and purposelessness.
Therefore, when he becomes God, it’s no wonder that Cas keeps trying to save souls just like Dean’s. He’s essentially trying to save that soul over and over again, thus recreating the most pivotal moment of his existence, the moment of his greatest triumph, his greatest righteousness; the moment when everything changed.
OKAY HERE IT COMES GUYS. THIS IS ALL IN CAPS LOCK. THIS IS MY FUCKING META AND IT’S FULL OF CURSING BECAUSE OH MY FUCKING GOD JUST LOOK AT THIS SCENE.
Am I the only person who interpreted Dean’s little shoulder-glance as him checking over his shoulder for Cas? Because as we all know, Cas has this way of just randomly popping in, Spanish Inquisition style, whenever it’s least convenient?
Which puts a bit of a different spin on the scene, in that Dean wouldn’t want Cas — the angel he’s totally in love with, but who’s not returning his calls or his prayers, not like that’s a big deal or anything, not like it was bothering him so much that he brought it up to his brother earlier in the episode — to catch him willingly returning such overt advances from another dude.
Like, okay, it’s great and totally representation-positive that we see Dean flirting with Aaron right back, but don’t miss the narrative implications of Dean flirting right back: Dean is acting like someone who feels taken for granted by his boyfriend, even down to the fact that before flirting with the obviously interested cute guy, he checks over his shoulder to see if said boyfriend’s magically standing right there.
Things That Don’t Indicate Dean Is Bisexual:
- that he wore pink satiny underwear
- that he liked it
- anything to do with servicing the fairy king
- that he’s pretty
- that he made fucking eye-contact with some guy
- that he’s not a tiger in the sack
- that he enjoys hugging
- that he would probably be a mum’s boy if Mary lived
- that his female relationships haven’t lasted
- that he’s good with kids
- that he to some degree enjoys fashion
- that he said ‘sweetheart’ this one time
Things That Indicate Dean Is Bisexual:
- any event/episode/parallel/theme/comment/reaction that implies he is attracted to men
this is not hard, friends.
quick: how do i like a post 1,000 times